naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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