I wanna passion pit in your ass
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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