you would pick up someone in the library
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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