I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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