He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
