someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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