so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
