I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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