Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
