Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
