Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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