Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
This girl is more easily done than said...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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