You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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