You're so nebulous sometimes
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
