Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
the liver wants what the liver wants
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
