ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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