New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I love having hate sex.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
