the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
