She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
