She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Randomize
