I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
