We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
