i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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