i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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