so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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