Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
