butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
