I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
