i barfeds in our rink
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize