god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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