Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
