Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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