were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
