Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
