He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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