I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
