you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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