dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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