If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
