i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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