Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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