he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
