Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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