i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
