do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
