Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
