so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
