I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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