before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
