last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
