Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
