My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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