been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
