kristin has been a bad kristin
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
