The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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