your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
