Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
