Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
