Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
