just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
