yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
