My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
