I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
