Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
