dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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